Smart Bidet ATS-850 - Heated Toilet Seat with Adjustable Warm Water Wash & Air Dryer | Side Control Panel, Stainless Steel Nozzle, Night Light & Child Mode | Easy Installation for Bathroom Comfort & Hygiene Upgrade

Like most, I was confronted with "the great toilet paper shortage of 2020". Somehow, I survived and can now pass the tale to my grandchildren. But really, it was a bit ridiculous and eye-opening. I didn't realize how dependent I was on the toilet paper supply chain to keep me... 'clean'.Sometime early in the pandemic, I took a road trip out west. On the way back, I stopped in a gas station that advertises it's 'mom-approved bathrooms' on roadside billboards. Saap brothers, in case you're wondering.Anyway, considering it's the best stop between Omaha and Kansas City, and that I needed gas, supplies, etc. I was bound to stop and experience a bidet for the first time in my life. Every stool they had was fitted with a Coco bidet. I know this review is for the Lotus, but bare with me.Like anyone, I was mildly troubled and curious at the same time. I gave it a try and realized my life would never be the same. Warm water bidet's are luxurious, sanitary, good for resource sustainability and reduce reliance on toilet paper; For some like me, they serve to replace it completely.Setting them up is relatively simple, but you do have to get over the fact that you'll likely need a low-profile extension cord. Bathroom outlets in most American homes are simply too far for the small cords wired onto your bidet to reach. I bought a 3 foot white low-profile 3-prong here on Amazon and it works great.I can't fully explain what an improvement this bidet is over toilet paper, but I think this might be a close analogy. Imagine you live on a farm that always gets your shoes/boots a little muddy. Like most, you wipe them on your doormat before you walk inside, but there's always going to be a little mud here and there- especially if you leave them on inside the house. Out of the blue, you find out there's a machine that'll both wash off your shoes at the door while you wear them and give you a gentle massage. It may take a minute or so longer than wiping them on the mat, but the result is practically new shoes every time and your feet feel great afterwards. That's what it's like- sort of. Except, if this were a little closer to reality, you'd have to deposit a little money every time you wiped your feet on the mat because mat companies need to fund commercials with bears in the woods wiping their feet on mats and everyone tells you that a machine does exist to clean your shoes before you enter, but it's just... weird.Well, it's not. It's the most sensible solution to the problem and I feel like I've been duped all my life.The lotus bidet says it comes in elongated and round. I think that's a misprint. It's more of an elongated that'll fit most rounds. I have a very small, round Glacier Bay in my rental unit which it fits on well enough. Setting the spray nozzle in the perfect position takes a little experimentation and what you end up doing is more like a kind of Elvis hip thing, but who cares? It's kind of fun. Going to the bathroom has turned into the kind of adventure it was when I first started going as a toddler- and that's a good thing. Shouldn't it be more than a chore?If I have any negative things to say about the Lotus bidet, it's the fragility of the surface. You have to baby this thing (scratch pads are kryptonite and will kill it- though who uses a scratch pad to clean these?). You can't stand on them or sit on the closed lid. It'll hold you up just fine if you sit on it as intended, but standing is asking for trouble. Actually, standing on the closed lid is asking for a ten second sitcom where you crash through and land in toilet water. If you drop anything pointy on it, you'll likely scratch it. I think the lid could have been made with another, sturdier material, but it is what it is; and for this price, I can't really knock it.The drying unit reminds me of those older hand dryers in bathrooms. They'll get the job done if you wait around forever. It sometimes feels like I'm waiting forever, and just as I'm about to get up and leave, it beeps as if to say, 'Alright, I get it. I'll finish up already', then shuts off a few seconds later. One can set it hotter to dry faster, but I find that uncomfortable. And when I think about it, why on Earth am I in such a blooming hurry in the bathroom anyway? Is there a war going on outside? Maybe I do need to slow down and the bidet reminds me of that. There might be a bidet with a stronger dryer, but I'm not going to quibble. Or maybe I'll just wait until Dyson decides to team up with a bidet manufacturer and turn the world right-side up.Bidet's are smart devices for smart people. This bidet does a great job. I recommend any bidet and think this is just as good as any.